Golden Child brother got my fiance pregnant so my family abandoned me after 5 years of no contact he’s in a coma and my mother demanded I step up as replacement father for his child so 5 years back just a month before I now 30 am was supposed to get married to my fiance I found out that she had been having an affair with my brother and the only reason they were even coming clean to me about it was because she was pregnant and wanted to keep the baby my ex fiance Karen 30f and my brother Chris 33m had apparently been sleeping

together ever since Karen and I had been engaged Karen and I have been together since our junior year of high school and had been together through college as well so getting engaged was obviously the next step since we had been together for so long yet inside of that after we got engaged she decided to cheat on me with my brother the only reason that even happened was that a couple of days after our engagement my brother had confessed to her that he had always had feelings for her and he just felt like he had to

let her know because she was about to get married and after that he could no longer tell her anything about these things and then she suddenly had the realization that she had also been catching feelings for him gradually apparently they would even flirt behind my back occasionally at family events and stuff but she was not sure about him which is why she had stayed with me I got to know all these things 5 years ago just a few months before my wedding when the two of them sat me down along with my parents and told me that they were

planning on getting together and she could no longer get married to me because Karen was in love with Chris and they were having a baby together I had been very upset about it that day and it almost refused to believe it and had told Karen that I wanted her to come home with me and end this relationship whatever it was with Chris but my mother had made it very clear that nothing of the sort was going to happen and that Chris and Karen were going to be together and I just had to make my peace with it because it was ultimately their

decision I couldn’t even believe that my mother was supporting something like this at least my dad had the decency to look ashamed and tried to comfort me but my mother was blatantly just supporting this and even told me that if I had a problem with it I could keep it to myself because Karen was pregnant and I had no right to bother her when she was in such a delicate condition my mother was just crazy about finally having a grandchild in the family so she could hardly care about what I was going through and fought with me tooth and

nail to justify what was going on after the confrontation that day Karen moved in with my family because her own parents did not want to speak to her anymore after she had told them the truth we obviously had to cancel the wedding and my parents covered the cost of it so I did not have to worry about any of that either however I got cast out from the family because I refused to speak to them and for the past 5 years we have had absolutely zero contact the only person who had even bothered to try and reach out to me was my father but I

wasn’t even bothered in speaking to him so there’s been radio Silence from their end after I cut eyes with them it took me a really long time to get over what happened to me because Karen and I have been together for a really long time I had loved her truly so it took me a lot of therapy to get over it and even now I wouldn’t say that I am truly fully over it but I’m dealing with it the rest of the family had kept in touch with me though and I did find out from them that she had a son with my brother and just a

month after she gave birth to her son a paternity test confirmed that it was my brother’s child and not mine so there was no need to contact me after that either and they ended up getting married and have been together for the past 5 years I had assumed that everything was going well for them but then about 1 week ago my mother called me out of the blue and it took me by surprise because she had been the one who had been the most infavor of Karen and Chris like at an unhealthy level so just out of curiosity I decided to call her back

after she sent me an email saying that she needed to speak to me urgently when I called her she delivered some pretty bad news to me while crying and I learned that my brother had unfortunately been in a really bad accident it was a HIIT and drun case and unfortunately because of the impact he had slipped into a coma and there was no telling how long it would take for him to recover this had happened last week itself and just 3 days after the doctors had said that things were pretty critical right now my mother had decided

to call me up and informed me about it at first I thought that she was going to ask me to visit him and be there for the family which I would have been ready to do because in spite of everything I think that this is a huge deal and it would have still been a reasonable enough expectation to have for me and I don’t want to turn my back on somebody who is in such terrible condition but then my mother went off in another Direction altogether and said that she wanted me to be there for Karen and my nephew I didn’t even understand what

that meant and then she told me that she now expected me to step up and be there for them in my brother’s place when I asked her to elaborate she told me that now that Chris was basically not even there anymore I had to be there for Karen and her child in every way whatsoever she did not mean just financially but she actually expected me to step up and move in with them so I would be able to take care of them she said that she would have taken them in herself but she was not getting any younger and it would be too much work to

take care of all of them that’s why she was calling me to let me know and she expected me to make a decision on the phone call itself I obvious iously lost my temper because for 5 years she did not speak to me and now when she was finally talking to me she expected me to do something so big I could understand that Karen and her son were all on their own right now and they needed somebody to be there for them but that somebody should have been someone from their immediate family and not me somebody whom she had betrayed and then not even

bothered to apologize too so obviously immediately told my mother that I was not going to do any such thing and that she was foolish for even expecting me to say yes to that and then she started arguing with me on the phone and I didn’t have any time to waste I was already pretty pissed off and I did not want to ruin my mood while speaking to her even more so I just hung up and then I blocked her once more I tried to go about my day as usual after that but I just couldn’t stop thinking about what Chris and Karen were going through and I

really felt bad for them but I obviously was not going to do what my mother had asked me to and take my brother’s place in their family because that was just weird he was still around he had just slipped into a but it was not like he had passed away already and she was acting like he was gone I was feeling very iffy about this entire situation so later that day I decided to call my father instead because I thought that he would be more reasonable than my mother it was very awkward to speak to him after 5 years of no contact but after

some small talk I asked him how Chris was doing and he told me that things were not looking too good right now and then I told him about the conversation that I had had with my mother earlier the day and I expected him to have some reasonable Insight but instead he also said that my mother was right to expect that from me that really took like a surprise because my dad was usually the more level-headed one out of both my parents and now even he was saying such weird things when I asked him if he really meant that he told me that he did

and said that Karen and I have had a history anyway and I’m also part of the family no matter what our relationship for the past 5 years has been ultimately I am blood and if they can count on anybody to step up for the family it should be me and my mother’s expectations are not exactly unreasonable that really threw me for a curveball and right now I honestly don’t have any idea what to do for the past week I’ve been avoiding speaking to anybody from my family even my other relatives since I’m just afraid that

somebody will bring this up with me and then I’ll be forced to explain my decisions I also kind of feel like the bad guy here because I’m refusing to step up for my family and I know that they really need me if not financially then at least emotionally I just honestly have no clue what to do and I know that what my mother is asking of me is really weird and unreasonable but at the same time I feel bad for rejecting it outright I haven’t even been down to the hospital to see my brother because I just feel so weird about this entire

situation neither have I been able to speak to any of my friends about this since all of this is so personal they know how things have been between my family and me ever since my wedding got called off but this is something a little more strange than that honestly and that’s why right now I’m posting this here on Reddit because I really think that I need some objective opinions about what I should do and be it my friends or family everybody is going to have some sort of biased opinion I really need advice because I

think I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t find an acceptable solution to all of this soon I honestly feel like I’m going back to that phase of my life where I was constantly thinking about Karen and Chris right after I found out that she had been cheating on me and that was a really dark era and I don’t want to go back there since it has taken me a lot to snap out of it so please whatever anybody has to to say no matter how harsh the opinion might be please just tell me so I can at least distract myself so IA for refusing to go see my

family and step up for them after my brother got into an accident update one hey guys so I decided not to go see my family for the time being it’s really too much for me right now I didn’t even realize exactly how bad my anxiety had become in the last week just because of the things that my parents were telling me but I’m back on my anti- anxiety meds right now and trying to cope with everything a lot of people have showered me with love and support in the comments section of my original post and even reached out to me personally in my DMs

to let me know that they are there for me and that I’m not alone which I am supremely grateful for so thank you so much for that I have also spoken to a couple of my close friends and confided in them about what’s going on because I really don’t think that I can deal with all of this on my own and they have also told me that I can speak with them whenever I need to just to get it all of my chest they have also told me that my decision to not go and meet them right now is the correct one to make because at this moment it’s the best decision

that I can make for myself and I have to put myself first no matter what anybody else is going through in life so far Chris and my family have always put themselves first so I should also do the same truth be told I don’t really think that I need to be there for them emotionally either they have each other they can deal with this on their own I was the one who had absolutely nobody for my immediate family being there for me in the aftermath of the wedding getting canceled and finding out that I had been cheated on my own parents had

turned against me and had picked my brother over me even though he was the one who had been in the wrong and he should have been the one to get lost out of the family but anyway that’s all in the past and I’m trying to move on from that I won’t be able to do that successfully if I go back to them again so I have blocked all of them once again and I’m going to stick to my decision of not having any contact with them I’m really sorry about what happened to my brother and I really hope that he recovers soon because no matter what he

has done I cannot be the person who wishes anything bad to happen to anybody so I hope things work out for them but I’m out of here I’m just going to focus on my own mental health now and I’m considering going back to therapy because of the way that I dealt with this and the way that these things that my parents said got under my skin I really think that I need to speak to a professional because I don’t think I’m dealing with all of this as well as I thought I was and all those old feelings are coming back to the surface yet again

so I’m just going to look out for myself now update too so I heard from a couple of relatives that my brother’s condition is still pretty critical and is not showing any signs of improvement it has been almost 2 weeks and he is still in the hospital things are really bad for the family and I feel sorry for them but there’s nothing much that I can do everybody who knows my family has dropped by the hospital to see my brother at least once in the past 2 weeks and offer their condolence es for the terrible accident that has taken

place apart from me I would have done that but then I also got to know from my relatives that my parents have been talking crap about me to anybody who has been visiting them and had been making me out to seem like the bad guy they are apparently telling everybody that they had asked me to come visit them and be there for the family but I had refused and accused me of saying things like this was karma for screwing me over 5 years back and that my brother deserved this for the record I obviously did not say anything of the sort some of them

contacted me to confirm if this was true or not because it did not seem like something I would say because I’m generally a nice person to everyone and when they asked me about it I obviously told them that I did not say these things and my parents were making it up to make it sound like I was being a terrible person probably a reaction out of me or maybe just like that because that’s the kind of people that my parents are I was just really disappointed that they were saying such things about me and masking up stories

just to portray me as a bad guy especially after already having screwed up my life once I’m just lucky that my relatives asked me about it because if they had just chosen to believe my parents then I don’t think anybody in the family would have been speaking to me at this point either for the past 5 years I had not spoken to my parents but the rest of my family my aunts and uncles and of course my cousins had all been there for me I really did not want to lose that and I guess my parents could not stand it so they decided to

try and screw that up for me as well I just don’t understand why they hate me so much I’ve literally never done anything to them my brother and I have never been particularly close and my parents have always had a soft spot for him right from our childhood but this seems unnecessary and excessive update three hi so I posted an update 2 days to go and today my mother decided to reach out to me yet again I had blocked them everywhere so she had no option but to pay me a visit in order to talk to me so when I came back home from work she was

already there waiting for me to come back I honestly didn’t even feel like talking to her because I was just so exhausted from work already I almost decided that I was going to get back into the car but then she spotted me and I had to go and speak to her I did not have any intention of letting her into my house because then it would be very hard to get rid of her so I decided to talk to her in the front yard with which proved to be pretty bad for me since eventually she just started yelling at me and that attracted the attention of

the neighbors as well the conversation started normally enough she just made some small talk with me and I had to answer her politely but then I couldn’t help myself and I ended up asking her why had she been telling people madeup crap about me just to portray me as a bad guy I told her that it was not fair to me because I hadn’t never wished anything bad to happen to my family even after they had treated me like this and I honestly just wanted to move on with my life but they were making even that really hard for me I had been keeping

these feelings to myself for a really long time so when I saw her it just came out of me and I couldn’t help myself in the end I just told her that after everything that had happened it was very difficult for me to think of them as a family because they had never treated me like that and I was very disappointed by their behavior so whatever it is that she had come to talk to me about it could be done later because I just came back home from work and I was really not in the mood to fight or talk to anybody about anything that was too emotionally

exhausting she had been hearing me out calmly up until that point but when I told her that I did not want to speak to her at that moment she got really pissed and said said that she was just here to apologize for the very same things that I had mentioned and said that she and my father had been thinking straight they had been pretty pissed off by my response initially because I had refused to step up for my family and even visit my brother while he was in the hospital but then they had realized that they hadn’t exactly treated me well in the

past 5 years and that I was obviously very upset about that even now and that’s why I was not visiting she had come here to talk to me and try to sort things out between us because she felt that at this time the family should stick together just for the sake of emotional stability but after I had told her that I did not want to to speak to her she changed her mind and decided that she was going to yell at me instead she told me that apparently I should just be grateful that I still even have a family because after the way that I

had reacted when I heard of my brother’s accident she had half a mind to cut me off and make sure that the rest of my relatives also stopped speaking to me permanently I didn’t understand what she was talking about so she explained that apparently she believed that my reaction had not been sad enough when I had learned of my brother’s accident I didn’t even know what she had expected me to do and she said that she had thought that when I had been told of my brother’s accident she had expected me to at least show some emotion but I had

just sounded very indifferent on the phone call obviously no matter what our personal relations are some news like that was definitely going to affect me and it really has as I had mentioned earlier I do not wish it upon anybody and that includes my family in spite of our personal relationships so I was definitely upset when I heard about his accident maybe that had not come through on the phone call because she couldn’t see my face but her reasons were just completely baseless and logical she even went on to say that the fact that I had

not been there for Karen and my nephew and stepped up for them in my brother’s place just showed how little I cared for the family she was just making things up yet again to justify how they were acting and I really think that my parents have started to lose their marbles because these things are completely weird and unnecessary anyway after she started yelling at me I lost even more interest in speaking to her and I just decided to get inside my house and ask her to leave so after some time I unlocked the door to my house and

went in while she was still yelling at me and she tried to follow me inside but I shut the door in her face and told her to leave because I was seriously pissed and I did not want to interact with her anymore she she argued with me but I told her that I would call the police and that’s when she finally left but not before she cursed me out and said that I would face the consequences of this soon I don’t know what that means I’m not even interested in getting to know what that means I just want to relax and move

on with my life update 4 hello so it’s been 26 days since the accident and my family finally had some good news to share with everyone today obviously they did not tell me about it personally I got to know about it for my cousins but the good news is that my brother is finally showing some signs of improvement he’s not an a anymore and is responding better so that’s a good sign I really hope he’s able to make it and that he just improves this point onwards because the last month has been really stressful for everyone as a family

including me in spite of the fact that I’m not even part of the family anymore and have been cast out long ago but the way that my parents have been after my life in the past 26 days that’s really shown me that they are unhinged and I think they were just taking out their frustration on me after my last interaction with my mother which I had talked about in my last update I did not hear from her for a couple of days but then my father called me up to to be at me instead he used a different number than the one that he usually uses so I

was not able to tell that it was him and when I answered the call he started yelling at me almost immediately so that I wouldn’t even have the time to hang up when I realized that it was him he was very clever about it too he tried to catch me off guard so that he would have the opportunity to scream at me instead of calling me at any normal time during the day he decided to call me at 5: in the morning when he knew that I would be sleeping and I would have to wake up to answer his call and my brain would be

all foggy so a couple of days after my interaction with my mother my dad called me up at 5:00 in the morning and after almost three phone calls I finally answered the fourth one and he immediately started yelling at me about what an ungrateful child I was and how he was wishing that I had never been born he said that he was going to make sure the rest of the family never spoke to me again because I was a terrible human being for not even bothering to come to see my brother in the hospital when he was suffering so much and not

being there for the family after ranting for almost 5 minutes he was the one who hung up because I was still trying to process everything that was going on and by the time I was done with that he had hung up the phone and blocked me at the time when it had happened it was not very funny but then now I find it pretty funny because my parents are just so desperate to make me seem like a bad guy and yell at me for arbitrary things they are willing to go out of their way into such extremes just for these reasons

I’ve already said that I believe that they were taking out their frustration on me they just needed to escape court and as usual I had to be there for the family but it’s fine because my father could not succeed in turning the rest of the family against me because they know that I’m not wrong and they also know what happened 5 years ago anyway now that my brother’s condition is improving I just hope that they get off my back and just focus on him update 5 hello it’s so weird to come back here after almost 3 years so much has happened

since then and it’s mostly been for the better I live in Germany now for work I’ve been living here for the past year and a half and I’ve also started seeing somebody my girlfriend and I have been together for the past 8 months and it’s been Blissful really and in the past 3 years I’ve had absolutely zero contact with my family and that’s also been Blissful if I’m being honest I have kept in touch with my relatives the ones who are nice to me so that’s different my brother is completely fine now he survived the accident and even though it

took him a long time to come back to normal he’s doing okay now Karen had approached me after my brother had started recovering to talk to me and apologize for everything that had happened in the past but I just told her that at this point an apology was just not required she had approached me after everyone had come to know that I was moving to Germany for work and had visited me with a bouquet to apologize and it was on behalf of her and my brother my brother could not come to see me because he was too ashamed of the

things that had happened 8 years back but honestly none of it mattered anymore so I just told them that I forgave them and I didn’t even care and that part was true I did not really care because I was moving on with my life onto better things since then I’ve been here and my parents don’t speak to me anymore and I’m really happy about that because I would not let that ever take place again under any circumstances I’m finally happy now anyway now that you guys are all caught up I better get back to my life.