Cheating husband gas lit me for years while my mill encouraged his affairs. So, I filed for divorce when I found proof and exposed that his mother was cheating too, which made my Phil divorce her and now she’s homeless.

Two months ago, I found out that my ex-husband was cheating on me. This was after he had been gaslighting me for years. For the longest time, he tried to downplay his infidelities, even when I would confront him with undeniable proof. I had seen text messages exchanged between him and the women he was involved with. Yet, he would always manage to twist the narrative, gaslighting me to believe that those screenshots were photoshopped and that I was crazy to even believe them.

Once I found a pink rubber band and a broken nail underneath our bed, a clear sign that a woman had been to our place. When I confronted him about it, hoping for some kind of acknowledgement, he had the audacity to claim that the items were probably mine, insisting that I was just forgetting where I left my own things. It was infuriating, not just because of the lies, but because of the way he always dismissed my concerns and invalidated my reality.

Most of these confrontations would often escalate into heated arguments. I would try to stand my ground, demanding honesty, but he would get defensive and aggressive. He would lash out and call me lunatic or overdramatic for even suggesting that he was unfaithful in our marriage. He would then turn every accusation into an attack on my character, making me feel like I was the problem, like I was imagining things or being irrational.

At the time, my ex-husband had lost his job and was entirely dependent on me to cover all our daily expenses. Along with my job, I also had to take care of the household and our son. Every bill, every necessity, every meal, it all fell on my shoulders. After covering the essentials for our family, there was barely anything left from my income. And on the rare occasions when I did manage to save a little, if I gave it to him, he would squander it recklessly on alcohol or on some online game he was obsessed with.

When I started refusing to give him any extra money because I simply couldn’t afford to anymore, he would erupt in anger. He’d scream and yell at me. Sometimes his outbursts would turn physical. He’d punch walls, slam doors, or throw things around trying to intimidate me into submission. The fear he created was palpable, and I often felt trapped.

There were countless times when I would muster the courage to tell him to leave, to move out, and let me and our son live in peace. But he would then get his family involved in our disputes. His mother, my ex-mother-in-law, was just as manipulative and toxic as her son, perhaps even more so. Whenever my ex involved her, she would storm into our house, not to mediate, but to berate me.

She’d yell at me about my duties as a partner, claiming that it was my responsibility as a good wife to provide for her son, no matter the circumstances. She’d go on rants about how I should be cooking for him, cleaning for him, and tending to his needs, even if he wasn’t contributing a single thing to our household. In her eyes, it was a woman’s work to manage everything at home, regardless of how overburdened or unsupported I felt.

My father-in-law wasn’t any help either. He’d just sit there during their visits, watching my ex-mil spew her venomous words, offering no defense or support for me.

A little bit about me, I’m an orphan. My parents tragically passed away in an accident when I was young, and from that moment on, I was raised in an orphanage. It wasn’t an easy life, but I made it through even though I was never adopted. When I came of age, I had to find any job I could to create a life for myself.

When I met my ex, I was just 19 years old, young, inexperienced, and incredibly naive when it came to love. He was older than me, seemingly more established and mature, and he carried himself in a way that made me believe he was the perfect partner. At the time, I thought I was lucky to have someone like him in my life. He made me feel special, as though he had everything figured out, and I saw him as someone I could trust and depend on.

But little did I know, all of that was just a lie. In reality, he saw me as someone who could be manipulated enough to serve his needs. It wasn’t long before I became his personal maid, cook, and helper, doing all the things that kept his life running smoothly while ignoring how drained and overwhelmed I was.

He would expect me to handle everything, cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry on top of my other responsibilities. It didn’t matter even if I was working multiple part-time jobs just to make ends meet. He still demanded that I come home and cater to his every whim.

Things escalated after we moved in together. That’s when he began insisting that I hand over my paychecks every month. Naturally, I resisted. I had worked hard to earn that money and had my own bank account for a reason. But he wouldn’t let it go. He argued that as the man of the house, he should be the one in charge of all the finances. He would tell me to just trust him and argue that he was more responsible than me.

Eventually, he wore me down and I agreed to give him a significant portion of my earnings, minus 60% of my paychecks every month. I kept the rest to cover my personal expenses and contribute my share of the bills. Looking back, I realize how messed up the entire situation was. He had no interest in contributing equally or building a partnership with me. He only cared about controlling me and ensuring that I remained dependent on him so I would not escape him.

If you are wondering why I ever got married to such a man, it was only because I got pregnant with our son unexpectedly. His mother pushed for us to have a wedding. She insisted that it was impure for us to live together as a man and woman with a child outside of marriage. Her judgment and pressure were relentless, and given my situation and age, I felt like I had no choice.

Looking back now, I wish someone could have stepped in to stop me, to help me see the situation for what it was. But I didn’t have anyone. I didn’t have a support system to lean on, no one to point out the red flags or advocate for my well-being. So, I convinced myself that getting married to my ex was the best option for me and our child.

I clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could work out and that he could truly be the partner I wanted him to be. Unfortunately, that hope was misplaced. Slowly over the years, he drained me of everything I had emotionally, financially, and mentally. The worst part was the fear he made me and our son feel. His anger and aggression made us feel like we had to tiptoe around him all the time.

I wanted to leave him. I really did. But I was too scared of what he might do. And he had so much control over me, both emotionally and financially, that I felt trapped. I didn’t know how to protect myself or my child from him.