Mill demanded money for my sills wedding after my promotion. When I refused, she posted on social media that I insulted them. So, my husband cut them off and now they’re emailing me begging for forgiveness.

So, recently, I received a pretty big promotion at work. I have been working at this company for quite a few years, and I have been promoted to CFO. Things are looking up for me because I’ve been told that if I stay on the right track, then I might even end up becoming CEO in a couple of years when the current CEO and founder of the company retires because apparently she’s been grooming me the whole time to take over the company. This was obviously big news for me and I was very happy about it.

So, I decided to throw a party to make this announcement for my family. But, I had no idea that this could backfire like this and create so much drama. By family, I mean my parents, my younger sister, my in-laws, and my sister-in-law and her fianceé. And of course, my husband and kids were obviously there. So, it was a pretty intimate affair.

I made this announcement over dinner, and everyone was very happy for me. They congratulated me and everything. And that night, nothing happened. But maybe around 8 to 9 hours ago, my in-laws reached out to me and told me that now that I have been promoted, it’s only natural that the position will be coming with a significant pay raise as well.

And I said yes because I didn’t know what they were building up to. But now I think I should have said no and lied to them or something because right after that they told me that since now I’ve been a part of the family for quite some time. Since my husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for four, they expect me to contribute to the wedding expenses for my sister-in-law’s wedding.

I was kind of taken aback because they even had a figure in their head and it was quite a significant amount. I obviously declined saying that I had kids, I had my own life and expenses, and the most that I can do for my sister-in-law is just get her a nice wedding gift like most people do. But then they started arguing with me, saying that I was being selfish.

I don’t understand how this is being selfish because it’s my money and I’m entitled to whatever I want with it. I don’t have to pay for anything, especially my sister-in-law’s wedding. Because from what I know, she and her fiance and their families are in a perfect position to cover the cost of the wedding just because they want to save their own money. They want me to contribute to it. And that’s not happening.

So, I fought back with them. And this is probably the first time that I’ve gotten into such a bad argument with my in-laws because usually we get along, but I don’t know what’s gotten into them. And things got pretty bad. They got very personal. They called me self-centered. They said that they regretted accepting me into the family at all and they were just generally very rude.

After a while, I got sick of arguing with them, so I hung up and blocked them because I did not want to interact with them. At the time, I was at work, so I decided to cool off and I thought that I would go back home and discuss this with my husband later. But before I could even get to that, just a couple of hours later, my husband started calling me and he told me to check my socials.

When I did, I realized that my in-laws had written a huge post about how selfish I was, claiming that I had apparently chosen to insult them and make them feel small about how they were struggling to cover the cost of their daughter’s wedding when they asked me for help, even though I had just been promoted and they were only asking me for help because they thought that I was family and I would be willing to do it for them.

It was ridiculous. It was actually they who had insulted me. But in the post, they were making me out to be the bad guy. And for some reason, they were trying to publicly shame me. I was obviously very upset by that post. And while I was on the phone with my husband, I told him everything that had happened.

My husband knows me. We’ve been together for a very long time. We’ve been friends for even longer than we have been dating. And he knew that I was telling him the truth. He was just calling to confirm the version that he already believed. And he told me not to worry and that he would deal with it.

A couple of minutes later, after my phone call with my husband, my sister-in-law called me. But by then, I was too busy and I was very upset as well. So, I did not want to talk to anyone else. I shouldn’t have worried though about what her reaction to this would be because after I did not answer her phone calls, she decided to leave me a message saying that she had read the post and she knew that her parents were definitely lying.

She told me that she had spoken to her brother. She knew exactly what had happened and she told me that she was really sorry that her parents had dragged me into this for no reason, but they would take care of this. By taking care of the situation. Though, I didn’t know exactly what they meant until my in-laws started trying to reach out to me to apologize because now, from what I know, both their children have decided that they are going to cut them off because obviously whatever these two did, it was really embarrassing for them.

And they’ve been emailing me non-stop because that’s the only way they can get through to me since I’ve blocked them everywhere else, begging me to forgive them and get their kids to talk to them right now, but I don’t feel inclined to do so at all. So, Ida for refusing to forgive my in-laws after they tried to publicly humiliate me on social media.

Update one.

Okay, so here’s the deal. Things have been a bit complicated for the past couple of days, ever since the fallout with my in-laws. So, I haven’t been able to post. But here’s what has happened until now. That day, there was a lot of confusion. So, I didn’t exactly get what was happening and why my in-laws were behaving so strangely all of a sudden.

Two days later, my sister-in-law showed up at our place with her fiance, and my husband and I sat down and heard them out. Apparently, my father-in-law had made a couple of bad investments in the past couple of years, and long story short, he had lost a lot of money that he had not told anyone about. On top of that, he and my mother-in-law have a pretty lavish lifestyle.

My mother-in-law in particular, I hate to say it, but she has no concern for finances and just spends whatever money she can on ridiculous stuff that she doesn’t even need. She makes it a point to buy the most expensive things whenever she goes shopping, which is pretty frequently. And my father-in-law has never said anything about it either. In fact, I’m pretty sure that they take pride in this.

The fact that they can spend so much money without thinking twice about it, when in reality, they can’t afford to be acting like this. But my husband and I had no idea about any of this. And my sister-in-law told me that even they didn’t have a clue until recently.

They started planning the wedding a couple of months ago. And of course, since my in-laws had contributed to the cost of my wedding, my sister-in-law had assumed that they would be contributing to the cost of her wedding as well. Since it was only fair, and it made sense because she didn’t know the reality of the situation back then.

But slowly, she started figuring stuff out because of their behavior. And since they were too proud to just come out and admit it themselves, she had to confront them about it and push them to tell her the truth. And they finally did. Obviously, that meant that it was going to be a bit of trouble for them because her parents would be able to contribute way less than what she had thought.

So, they would have to cut down on expenses significantly and downscale their wedding. But since her parents had been very apologetic about the whole thing, and they seemed to be pretty embarrassed by it, she decided not to bring it up with anyone else and kept it silent.

She, her fianceé, and his parents were still going to be paying for the wedding, and they decided that they would try to keep it within their budget without relying too much on her parents for help. She was okay with it. Her fianceé was too and so were his parents.

But the fact that her fiance’s parents would be contributing to the wedding and they would not be able to, I guess that did not sit right with my in-laws because I guess they’re very adamant about maintaining a sense of superiority when it comes to finances, no matter how big a lie it might be in reality. They are massive showoffs basically and they don’t care at what cost. They’re showing off the wealth that they don’t have anymore.

So, when I found out that I had received a promotion, they did the math and realized that I would definitely be able to help them contribute more significantly to the wedding. And that way, they wouldn’t come off looking too badly and would be able to impress my sister-in-law’s fiance and his parents.

Apparently, when my husband and sister-in-law spoke to their parents, they told them that their whole intention in asking me for money was to use that for the wedding and have it on a grand scale like they had planned in the beginning, so that my sister-in-law would not be disappointed and would not have to downscale. And when I refused, they had already been feeling like they had been backed into a corner. They had been feeling small as it is.

And my refusal to help them was just the last straw. So they snapped and they ended up making that post, trying to paint me in a bad light. But of course, that backfired because people in the family who know me, they know that I would never act the way they said that I did. And it was even worse for them because not only did people not believe them in their version of whatever had happened, they also invariably ended up outing themselves because in the post they had mentioned that they had asked me for financial help since they were struggling right now.

And now there was no point in pretending otherwise because they themselves had made that post and while they were trying to prop me up as the villain here, they ended up letting out the secret that they had been safeguarding without giving much thought to it. So now they are not only upset because their own children are not talking to them and their whole plan backfired, they are also quite embarrassed and ashamed of their actions, especially the fact that now everyone knows that they are in dire straits.

After my sister-in-law is done talking and explaining the entire situation to her parents, my husband just told me that I did not have to respond to them or forgive them if I did not feel like it because what they had done was just irrational and stupid. And right now, nobody wants to be associated with them because they really embarrass themselves and their kids by what they did.

And quite honestly, I definitely agree with them. In my opinion, it’s not even just about the embarrassment and shame of the whole situation. It’s also about how they behaved with me. We have had a great relationship so far, and I could never have imagined them acting out like this just because I made a very rational and reasonable decision about my finances.

It was really insulting for me to be spoken to like that. And I don’t think that even with this explanation, I can find it in myself to forgive them anytime soon. So, they can keep trying to email me. They can keep trying to reach out to me somehow. But I’m not going to talk to them right now.

In the past couple of days, they have been sending me about three to four emails every day, and they probably think that I’ll just forgive them if they keep pressuring me like this and try to guilt trip me into feeling bad for them because every email of their reads along the same lines. They say sorry. Then they tell me that they did not mean any of the things that they said. Then they tell me that they are really afraid that they might have damaged their relationship with their kids for good.

And they believe that I’m the only person that can help them out right now. And they are counting on me to forgive them so that their kids follow my lead and start talking to them as well so they can all fix things, sort it all out like a family and move on from this whole incident.

All their emails might be differently worded, but it’s just the same. It doesn’t make a difference though because they can say that they didn’t mean any of the things that they said to me, but that doesn’t mean that I can just forget about it and pretend it never happened. They really hurt me with their behavior. And I don’t plan on suppressing my feelings just because they feel bad that their kids are not talking to them.

If by chance my husband and sister-in-law had decided to continue speaking to them, then I don’t think they would be feeling this sorry about what they did. And most importantly, it’s not my responsibility to get their kids to talk to them. They did not think their actions through. And that’s on them, not on me. They need to take accountability instead of trying to make me feel responsible for something that’s not even in my control.

Because I actually did speak to my husband and sister-in-law about it. All the emails and stuff that I have been receiving and whatever, and they agreed with me. They told me that it was definitely not my responsibility to make them speak to their parents. And it’s very weird of them to even assume that if I forgive them, they will do so, too.

I mean, we’re not all one unit here, and they are not my minions who are under my control. They are their own people. They have their free will, and they can do whatever they want to. Even if I do forgive them, my husband and my sister-in-law are still going to take their own sweet time, and I don’t have any control over that.

So, it’s pointless for them to be continuously emailing me like this because it’s just going to annoy me and nothing else. Anyway, my sister-in-law, her fianceé, my husband, and I had a long chat about all of these things. And in the end, it was decided that for now, it would be better to keep our distance from their parents because clearly they’re going through a tough spot, and we really don’t want anything to do with them at the moment.

We couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about it because they are not getting any younger. But honestly, what they did was really not cool. And being old doesn’t give them the license to be horrible to everyone else. They’re still going to have to face the consequences of their actions. And if that makes them feel a little bad, then they’re going to have to deal with it as well.

I don’t feel particularly bad about my decision, and neither does my husband. But the only thing that we are concerned about is that maybe our kids are going to miss them because our kids are pretty close to both sets of grandparents. So, I don’t know how they will react. Of course, it’s not like we’re going to tell them anything about any of this because they’re too young for that and they don’t need to know, but I’m sure that they will ask about them at some point.

And then I don’t know what we’re going to do. I guess we’re just going to have to tough it out and deal with it because right now I think it would be very toxic to have them over, even if it’s for the sake of the grandkids. I just don’t want to interact with them at all and I’m serious about the whole no contact thing.

Anyway, I know that at least my parents will be visiting, so I hope that that will keep the kids distracted enough and they won’t ask too many difficult questions. Whatever. This is it for now. Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my original post with their advice and reassured me that I was not the a-hole. That was very nice of you guys.

If anything else happens, I’ll definitely make another post because this has all actually been pretty helpful and therapeutic in a way. But until then, this is it and thank you so much.

Update two.

Hey everyone. So, it’s been 3 weeks since my husband and I and my sister-in-law and her fianceé, we’ve all gone no contact with their parents. In the past few days, they had completely stopped trying to reach out to me. So, I thought that maybe they were coming to terms with the fact that they had done something wrong.

And right now, we did not want to talk to them. Yesterday, though, in the evening, my parents called me up and they told me that my in-laws had called them and had really given them an earful for no reason. My parents had been in the loop right from the beginning. And just like us, they had also cut ties with my in-laws. So, they had nothing to do with them.

But my parents had not blocked them anywhere. They had only stopped responding to them and stuff. But yesterday, my father-in-law called my dad on his phone about 30 times. And in the end, my dad ended up picking it up just to get it over with. I did tell him that he should have just blocked him, but I guess our parents generation functions differently.

Anyway, the point is my dad picked up and immediately my in-laws put him on blast. They started complaining about me and my behavior, saying that I was being way too difficult to deal with and that they had already apologized to me about a thousand times. And now it didn’t make any sense why I was still not ready to forgive them.

And they even accused me of not allowing my husband to speak to them either and manipulating my sister-in-law to behave the same way. After hearing that, I was pretty glad that I did not respond to any of their messages and forgive them because clearly they were not actually sorry about anything. They were just pretending so that I would forgive them and my husband and sister-in-law would follow suit.

Even now, they were trying to make me look like the bad guy, whereas I hadn’t even actually done anything. I don’t understand why they believe that I have so much influence and power over their son and daughter. It’s actually pretty insulting for my husband and his sister because their parents are acting like they don’t have a brain of their own and cannot make any decisions unless I approve of it.

It’s just really weird all around and it feels like they just want a scapegoat to pin all the blame on. And I’m that scapegoat for them. Anyway, as if their accusations were not bad enough, they decided to get personal with my parents as well. And that’s where I draw the line.

They can say whatever they want to about me. They can attack me all they want to. I hardly care about that. But they have no right to say anything at all about my parents. And I’m not the kind of person who is going to sit back and tolerate even one word against them.

And they had said a lot of horrible things to my parents. They had called my parents failures because clearly I was a reflection of how they had raised me and they hadn’t done a good job of it. They had called my parents stingy, saying that I was just like them and had even brought up a bunch of stuff from the past that had nothing to do with the situation right now, like boasting about how they had spent more money on our wedding than my parents had.

Even though it was my in-laws who had insisted that they wanted to contribute more, so my parents had let them even though they had tried their best. And to throw that in their face now, especially given their current circumstances, it just doesn’t even make sense.

Anyway, my parents did not react much, they just heard my in-laws out and after they were done, while my in-laws were waiting for my dad to say something, he just disconnected the phone and finally blocked them. And then he called me up and narrated everything to me.

He did tell me not to engage with them and give them the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me. But I just couldn’t control myself. I was fuming and after telling my husband what had happened, I decided to unblock them and my husband and I called his parents from his phone.

And when they picked up, I did most of the talking and I really tore them a new one. And it’s not like they didn’t say anything back to me. They tried to argue, but I didn’t even let them finish the sentences. I was not going to let them get away with speaking that way to my parents, especially when they didn’t even have anything to do with the situation.

This was between me and them. They had no reason to drag my parents into this, apart from being petty, and the things that they had said were incredibly disrespectful to them. So, they were not about to say all that and think that it was all fine because I would just ignore it and let it go.

Just because I had not officially responded or put out a post to respond to their attempt to publicly humiliate me on social media didn’t mean that I was going to let them do whatever they wanted. And they needed to learn that. Anyway, we headed out on the phone for about 15 minutes and then I hung up on them after I had run out of steam.

I have to say I felt pretty good because I got it all out of my system and now I don’t care what happens. All I can say is I’m very glad that I did not choose to forgive them because they very clearly don’t deserve it.

Update three.

Hey everyone, long time no see. That was because after the last interaction that I had with my in-laws, they did not bother us for a while. I think it’s almost been 5 months since then. But recently, it all started back up again, so I’m here.

So, the invitations to my sister-in-law’s wedding recently went out, and given whatever had happened, my sister-in-law did not invite her parents. Ever since I had that fight with them on the phone after they insulted my parents, my husband and my sister-in-law have been very upset with their parents and have pretty much said that unless they sincerely apologized to me and my parents in person right in front of them, they are not going to be speaking to them.

And since my in-laws have not bothered to do any of that, my husband and his sister have not spoken to their parents either. So for the past 5 months, it’s been radio silence. I don’t know why they were even expecting their daughter to invite them to the wedding, especially when they haven’t even spoken for 5 months.

But of course, when they heard that the invitation had gone out and they had not received one, they immediately decided to reach out to my sister-in-law, but they couldn’t do that because she blocked them. So they decided to pay her a visit a couple of days ago so they could speak to her in person and she made it very clear to them that she was not going to engage with them unless they apologized to me and my parents and they made a huge deal out of it as well.

Even then they chose to blame me saying that I had manipulated all of them and they said that she was going to regret behaving with them like this. They threatened to cut her out of the inheritance and give it all to my husband. But in the most hilarious way, my sister-in-law reminded them that they hardly had anything left for them and they were living off of their retirement funds, which would dry up soon given the rate they were burning through their money.

So, by the time they were going to receive an inheritance, she highly doubted that there would be anything left for her and her brother to fight over. And of course, they couldn’t take that. So, they cussed at her. And then they left her.

And then they made a post in their typical fashion, painting themselves to be the victims and everybody else to be the bad guys. They posted about how we had all treated them very badly and disrespectfully and how they had chosen to boycott the wedding, not mentioning the fact that they had not even been invited in the first place.

As usual, nobody bought any of that. And whatever little respect they had managed to retain, they lost that as well with this particular post. It’s actually pretty sad if you really think about it. But this cannot be helpful. They really brought their own downfall onto themselves.

And if they had just been decent people right from the beginning, none of this would have ever happened. But it’s fine. They dug their own grave and now they have to deal with the situation. My husband and I don’t care about them at all as long as they’re not bothering us.

We had been worried about our kids asking about his parents and they did ask a couple of times in the beginning, but recently it seems like they have forgotten about them. So even that’s not a problem anymore and both of us are busy with our work. So we don’t really have any time to think about them and the meaningless drama that they are trying to stir up.

Update four.

Hi everyone. So, it’s been a week since the wedding, and by the grace of God, everything went smoothly. Obviously, my sister-in-law could not have the wedding that she had been planning in the beginning. They had to downscale considerably, but they seemed to be very happy.

It did not make even the slightest difference to her on the big day, and I couldn’t have been happier for her. We did get a lot of questions about why their parents were not attending from people who were not that active on social media, but we dodged them quite expertly because we wanted the day to be about the couple and not anybody else.

Because I’m pretty sure that being talked about was exactly what they would have wanted. All in all, the ceremony and the reception and everything else went very well. We had a lot of fun and it was great to be there and to celebrate their love.

We are thrilled and grateful that everything went so smoothly without any trouble.