Sister secretly read all my messages to find proof of my interracial relationship. Then my family ambushed me with six people calling my partner a manipulator and forced me to block him while threatening a restraining order.

I, 25F, met my partner, 29M, in 2020 while I was finishing my undergrad studies and we were both in the same field. Our first conversations were deep about our personal philosophies, culture, faith, and our views on the world. And we quickly realized that our values align so well. He’s funny, attentive, smart, talented, and ambitious. And I was so in love. I still am.

We made it official 2 months in. And low-key, we both knew we wanted to marry each other already. But of course, we didn’t rush as we were still finishing up school. We have the same religious background, but not the same ethnicity. And for this reason, both of us were nervous to tell our parents about our relationship because we didn’t know how they’d react. Most ethnic parents would want their kids to keep it within the culture, but from what I know, they may be stubborn at first, but will come around eventually, right?

For me, ethnicity is a non-issue. We’re both religious, so having the same faith is more important in my opinion. I thought my parents would think the same because if they’re so religious, too, then they shouldn’t place their cultural values over their faith.

Anyway, my partner didn’t wait too long to tell his parents. They and his siblings were very supportive and welcomed me with open arms. I on the other hand hesitated for the longest time because I really had no idea how my parents would react. I’m a bit fearful of them and honestly my relationship with my parents isn’t that close. Of course they’re caring and all but not in an emotional way where I can come up to them and be vulnerable about something. Definitely not my dad.

This is where I’m at fault because even if it was hard for me to be honest with them, I should have just done so instead of hiding my relationship from them. My siblings knew before my parents. They didn’t care. But my sister, 29, on the other hand, being the eldest, aka the third parent, was too panicked about it and advised me to just end the relationship because interracial marriage is going to be complicated. But that’s not the advice I needed and I didn’t want to just end the relationship either. I truly believe he’s my soulmate.

Her entire attitude towards it was kind of just, I gave you my two cents. I don’t want to be involved in this mess.

I think it was a year into our relationship and my mom found a birthday card for my partner in my room. She found my stash of greeting cards from him and read them all. She confronted me with them and she wasn’t even mad. But when I told her about his ethnicity, she freaked out. She made me tell my dad and he just lolled in my face and didn’t even let me talk. Took a couple of days for my mom to calm down because honestly, she really was overreacting. The conclusion was they ain’t happy with the relationship and wanted me to end it.

I didn’t want to, of course. It was swept under the rug and for the next 3 years, my partner and I continued our relationship and even went on some trips together. But my parents were in the dark about the specifics of it all, which of course the dishonesty is very wrong. But in my mind, they didn’t create a safe space for me to be honest with them.